Trevor Noah on Michael Cohen: ‘He’s literally selling swamp tours’ | Culture
Late-night hosts discussed the latest reports on Donald Trump’s lawyer Michael Cohen as well as Trump’s release of prisoners from North Korea.
Trevor Noah: ‘He’s explicitly bragging about selling access to Trump’
On The Daily Show, Trevor Noah started by talking about Stormy Daniels’ lawyer Michael Avenatti, who “looks exactly what a lawyer in a porno looks like”.
He then spoke about the latest allegations against Cohen.
“Corporations paid millions of dollars into the same shell company that Cohen then used to pay off Stormy Daniels, and right now, I can’t believe that an affair with a porn star is the least scandalous part of the story,” he said.
A number of major companies paid money to Cohen who promised them access to the president, including AT&T. Noah joked that, in a way, as an AT&T customer he helped to pay off Daniels. “I finally understand what Stormy Hush Payment was for,” he said. “I thought it was like a hurricane thing.”
He jokingly referred to Cohen as “Never Call Saul” and then spoke about how staggering Cohen’s plan was. “He’s explicitly bragging about selling access to the president,” he said. “This guy’s not just a swamp creature, he’s literally selling swamp tours.”
He also referred to it as a “classic Nigerian prince scam”.
Stephen Colbert: ‘There’s a lot of indoor peeing’
On The Late Show, Stephen Colbert spoke about Trump’s press conference with the three prisoners being kept in North Korea who are now back in the US. He joked that Trump attended the photocall “along with Melania, who is hoping to be freed next”.
“No Trump accomplishment would be complete without a bit of bragging about ratings,” he said as Trump claimed the 3am ratings would be a record.
Colbert also referred to Cohen as “Trump lawyer and man being politely asked to leave the strip club” before talking about the difficulty of finding people who are able to predict or understand Trump.
“A Trump whisperer is like a dog whisperer because, well, there’s a lot of indoor peeing and hitting with rolled-up magazines,” he said.
Seth Meyers: ‘The season finale of Rudy Giuliani’
On Late Night with Seth Meyers, the host discussed Trump supporters pushing the president for the Nobel peace prize. Trump was asked about it and said he is more interested in victory for the world.
“Victory for the world?” Meyers said. “He doesn’t sound like a Nobel laureate – he sounds like a movie president fighting an alien invasion.”
Meyers continued: “If he won a Nobel, his speech would be the first in history with an NC-17 rating.”
He then played footage of Trump at the NRA convention, repeatedly joking about John Kerry breaking his leg. “Trump is like the guy you went to high school with who never forgets your most embarrassing moment,” he said.
Meyers also referenced another bad week for Rudy Giuliani.
“Based on how things are going, I guess he has a week left in his job tops,” he said. “When he goes on Fox News, they should introduce him as ‘The season finale of Rudy Giuliani’.”